Monday, 5 March 2012

Moving on...again...

The last, and final, incarnation of Four Dinners.

Pop along...or matter....

T'ra - and this blog will self destruct in...oh I dunno...a couple of weeks or so...

Sunday, 4 March 2012



I ain't 'Islamophobic'...I just don't l.ike 'em

I ain't 'racialist' either...I just believe I AM English therefore those who are 'different' to me aren't....Now let's get real here...'Behead Those Who Say Islam Is Violent'????? in terms here mussies....


Amir Khan is muslim. He is a boxer. A very good one too. When he steps into the boxing ring he wears the Union Flag around his shoulders. Win or lose he is British.

That's all I want. Amir is proud to be muslim and proud to be British. He's, sadly, in the minority of muslims in Britain...I don't  want him to be but he is....I am so so sad tha Amir is in the minority of British muslims...

You live here and take our hand outs then you are British and you adapt to be so and accept British ways.

You don't 'adapt' don't 'accept' 'British ways' then fuck off to whereever you came from.

Why is that so unreasonable? Why is that view so politically incorrect??

I'm right.

I know I'm right so that's ok by me.

No doubt' worries...

I'm right.

And in this insane mad mad mad mad mad world...being right and knowing you're right is some comfort.

Not a lot...but some.

Laters and let's be careful out there...

Monday, 27 February 2012

The Land Of Make Believe

The British Goverment donates billions of pounds to India which spends billions of pounds on its own nuclear and space programme whilst British people suffer 'austerity measures' due to a recession. The excuse that Britain is thus ensured lucrative trade with India is somewhat tarnished when India award a huge contract for military aircraft to Germany rather than Britain....oops

The British Courts release a self confessed Islamist Al Qaida supporter onto our streets whilst extraditing a 65 year old English man to America to be tried for a crime he almost certainly didn't know he was commiting always assuming he did in the first place.

The British Government refuses to allow the British people any say what so ever over hugely important issues such as continued membership of the increasingly hated EU or the gradual devolution of Scotland etc and the possible break up of the United Kingdom.

The British Government continues to allow its troops to be killed in Afghanistan and Iraq in support of the so called 'Arab Spring' despite increasing clear evidence that the 'Arab Spring' is being primarily controlled by extreme Islamists whose sole intent is to rid the planet of 'infidels'

The British Legal System insists on a child of 7 years old being branded a racist after he asked a school friend 'Are you brown because you come from Africa?' - and there are several hundred young children in this bizarre situation. Apparently their parents have to sign a form acknowledging their child is now formally a racist.

The British Helath and Safety Laws are applied so rigorously that a man drowns in 3 feet of water after suffering an epilectic fit and the emergency services decline to wade into 3 feet of water to save him as none of their number are formally trained to do so - a young copper who volunteers to go is ordered not to as he isn't qualified to wade into 3 feet of water.

I could go on but this is a 'sober' post and much more of this would drive me to drink.....

I clearly misunderstand the true meaning of democracy. No doubt several officers of the law will bash my door down in the middle of the night to drag me away to an undisclosed place for re-educating.

We really need to be careful out there....

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Stars And Stripes And What A Bunch Of Aresholes Eh?

Gary Mckinnon suffers from whatchamacallit?...Aspergers thingy...a form of Autism.

Now I claim minimal knowledge of such mental illnesses other then my nephew also suffer from Aspergers whatsit...

My nephew is enormously talented on computers - as many Aspergers sufferers necessarily computers...just immensly talented at one specific's just 'life in general' they have trouble coping with...and don't we all eh??

Aspergers is, I am led to believe, one of many forms of Autism.

Now. I am unsure precisely what 'Autism' means - as are most of us. I know - as we all do - that Autism is a form of mental illness or, if you prefer, mental disability.

Basically, unfortunate sufferers are, from our perspective, a sandwich short of a picnic...or two pence short of a shilling or perhaps, a vodka short of a lemonade.....

They are - the Aspergers / Autism sufferers - not entirely of OUR world.

This is not their fault. It is not OUR fault. It just IS.


I do like America and Americans - even my pal Billy who is clearly a cantankerous old sod.


Enough is very much enough.

Some old guy called Chris Tappin has been 'extradited' to the 'good old USA' to stand trial for selling things that he shouldn't have sold to Islamist terrorists - or something to that effect...

Excuse me?

Chris Tappin in a born and bred Englishman....What the fuck is he doing standing trial in the 'good old USA'????

I have no idea whether he has commited a crime or not - and, frankly, I don't care. If he has, or not, he stands trial in England....end of.

England - along with those other bits I don't care about...Wales...Scotland and a bit of Ireland...have allowed poor old Chris to be extradited to stand trial in 'the good old USA'

You're fucking up America...We might be a 'little island' and we might be relatively insignificant in your opinion lately...we.might be considered a 'hostile' country at your immigration stations (as we have a frankly stupid amount of Islamists living here) but don't take the piss America.

Our politicians may want to lick your dicks but we - the people - don't.

We might love you America but we will kick you areses every time chaps.

You know why?

Because only America could make a movie called 'Battle : LA'

We'd make a movie called 'Kick The Shit Out Of Any American Who Fucks With Any Brit'

...'cept in our case it wouldn't be a movie.

Look and learn America...

We love you dearly but...tiny as we are....if you don't back off over Gary and the old guy you might find your tourists locked in the Tower Of London...

...and when WE cut off heads we do it well....

Read your history Yanks.

In the case of Chris Tappen...don't you fucking DARE.

Send him home or stay over there...The Tower Of London awaits..;-)

...although seriously...

If you don't send him home, YOU are another enemy.

You really want to find out what Millwall FC supporters can do to you on the Tube???

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Fuck The Internet and...Mainly...Fuck Facebook

The chap who created Facebook has had a movie made about him..I haven't seen it, can't remember it's name (The Social Network?) and, frankly, can't wait to read the wankers obituary.

I have no problem at all with the wanker creating Facebook. Neither do I have any issue about him becoming a millionaire...or billionare or whatever.

My problem is this.

My Facebook account has been hacked into twice. The first time I managed to sort it out, close it down, and start again. I did so with the help of various pals. No help what so ever was forthcoming from Facebook - mainly cause it's fucking impossible to contact anyone or talk to anyone.

Now it's happened again.


If I could actually speak to a human being regarding employee of Facebook who could offer advice etc then fine. If I could actually get ANY help at all from Facebook that was relevent then all fine and dandy.

But I can't.

My account is hacked, I can't get into it and there is no way in a million years that Facebook are going to help purely because you can't find an e-mail address or a phone number to ring.

I'd even settle, reluctantly, for a call centre in Bombay if I could at least TALK to someone.

Facebook?...You are shite and I quit.

My account doesn' account may send obsecene messages or advertisements or God knows what all over the shop....I don't care.

I quit.

And if I read the obituary of the young arsehole who created it I will smile.

He should have made sure we could get help simply and easily.

He didn't.

He's a tosser and I hope he falls off a high balcony.

So there yer go.


Saturday, 18 February 2012

Rock 'n Roll Waaaahey! Rock 'n Roll

I may regret using a Gary Glitter song for my header....;-)


I have resigned from SFRadio - I would link it but as I've resigned why the fuck eh?

There is a completely untrue rumour circulating that I was 'forced out'. I wasn't.

SFR is run by a very good pal of mine and I love him dearly but he went all 'politically correct' on me.

Probably because the Internet Radio Station that is SFR is growing apace and - as all things that increase in size - political correctness invariably pops up.

'You can't do this' and 'You can't say that' and all of that garbage.

Personally, I say what I think and think what I's a northern trait perhaps.

I offend. I know I do. I don't really care. I say it as I see it and, if you don't like it or agree, fine.

Argue your corner but don't expect me to 'modify' ME. I won't. Even if I like you.

I've never set out to offend in my life....but neither have I shirked away from speaking my mind.

I can now be found every Sunday @ 6pm UK time at

I can't say 'a significant number of muslims in Britain are here to take everything they can get and give nothing back in return'?.....Sorry...I'll say it...quite simply because it's true. It offends you?...TOUGH.

...well, I can't say it on SFR anyroad...

I've even had a few 'hate mails' because I had the audacity to say the truth about Peter Mandelson on my show...

He's what?.....That entitles him to rip off everyone does it?...He's a lying, cheating old queer who should have been locked up years ago....

Sadly...he's part of the 'establishment' so he becomes 'Lord Mandelson'....

Harry Redknapp is a very ordinary bloke 'made good' who dodged a bit of tax..possibly...

The 'establishment' went after him and, to my delight, got screwed in court. GO HARRY!!!

I will always say what I think and think what I say.

You can't hack that?... then piss off elsewhere and read some boring blog about 'what I had for breakfast'.

I've no problem with that so why have you?

Besides....I'm getting over a hundred + hits a day and no bugger is saying owt in the comments...

You frightened of the truth or what?

....Let's be careful out there...especially of political correctness eh?

...and why not join me @ every Sunday @ 6pm UK time...just me and my views and my could be fun!!!!

Sunday, 12 February 2012

The Young Ones

...and no...I'm not a Cliff Richard fan.

I was oop north for a few days. I parked up near Tommyfield Market in Oldham and went for a stroll.

I saw three elderley ladies sitting outside a cafe - despite the cold - gossiping away. Two were white Englaish and one was clearly a muslim as she wore the gear. They were happily gossiping away, comfortable in each others company. Good.

A few moments later I bought a bag of chips from a Pakistani muslim chip stall holder. As he served me several shoppers of my age and above 50+ walked by. Many said 'Howdo' to him and he waved and said 'Howdo' back. Good.

Older Pakistani/Bangla Deshi muslims talking English with a northern accent. Older white English northerners chatting away to them quite happily. No hint of anymosity. No hint of Islamophobia. No hint of the muslims wishing to have nothing to do with the indigenous people. Good. Bloody good!

The muslims clearly happy to be English and muslim and, equally importantly, happy to be a part of the wider community. The wider community clearly happy to welcome them. Being muslim no doubt important to them but, not at the cost of 'not fitting in' and being a part of the community as a whole. Excellent. I've found my Nirvana.


A group of 4 young muslim lads sat at an empty stall jabbering away in a foreign language. Clearly born in England, English was equally clearly not their language of choice. They made a comment at three white girls passing by. The only word I caught was 'whores'.

The three white girls turned and yelled abuse back - such as 'fuck off you Paki bastards' and the like.

I saw variations of this theme played out six times in less than an hour.

I left Tommyfield Market slightly confused and not a little alarmed.

I'm of a generation that has often struggled to accept the 'multi-culturalism' that has been thrust upon us by consecutive governments without any consultation. We didn't want it and, generally, don't particularly like it. Should the 'foreign' part of this awful 'multi'cultural' experiment have even tried to adapt to England, we may have been prepared to give it a try, but, sadly, a significant minority - particularly muslim it has to be said - have made it perfectly clear that, whilst they want all the free hand outs that are going or, at least, the better life style afforded to them whilst living in England, they want nothing at all to do with England itself.

The older muslims in Oldham, or at least the one's I saw, obviously view the world through different eyes and had clearly made the effort to 'join in' and had equally clearly reaped the benefits of behaving sensibly and realistically. It may well be, and almost certainly will be, that there are older muslims in Oldham who behave as their younger counterparts did and a substantial number regardless of age do in the south but I didn't see any evidence of this.

The behaviour of the young muslims of Oldham however was a real cause for concern.

Old farts like me will die before most young people around today. My 'difficulties' accepting other cultures - or at least cultures that are invasive and clearly want nothing to do with mine - I always assumed would be a thing of the past once people like me had shuffled off this mortal coil.

The attitude and behaviour of the several groups of young muslims in Oldham suggested otherwise.

Even more alarmingly, it is not just extreme Islamists that are being abused back after dishing it out. I can understand and empathise with that happening. You're in England so behave in a way acceptable to the English - 'when in Rome' and all that.

There may be trouble ahead methinks...perhaps more than I realised...and almost certainly sooner than I realised....

Laters n let's be careful out there....

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Rocket Science and Common Sense...WHAT???

Now apart from having a ludicrously silly beard and an even more ridiculous name - which alone should result in him being shot at dawn (or any other convenient time of the day if you ask me) - Abu Qatada is to be released from prison.

It is clearly proven by those who do things like clearly prove things that Abu Qatada is strongly connected to 'Call Me' Al Qaeda - who are clearly mad as hatters and seem to enjoy blowing things up, not least themselves.

Let's face it...any organisation that doesn't follow 'Q' with 'U' is clearly not all there.....

Unfortunately, it appears that there are insufficient numbers of 'Call Me' Al Qaeda blowing themselves up to remove them all from the face of the Earth.

'Call Me' Al Qaeda operatives such as Abu Qatada prefer to convince their Islamic minions to blow themselves up rather than demonstrate to their minions.....this is, to my way of thinking, somewhat unfortunate.

Abu Qatada has cost the British tax payer lots and lots and lots of tax payers money to be kept alive and relatively well in one of Her Majesties Prisons.

He could have been shot - quite easily. MI5...or 6 or whoever the hell it is...could have blown the mad bastards brains out and saved us..the tax payer..a small fortune.

Instead, he has been locked away until some idiotic court - clearly influenced by Europe (oh dear) - decided he should be released.

Apparently the British Government want to kick him out to some Arab place to stand trial for terrorism but the courts have said 'NO' as they believe he would be tortured.


I've often wondered over the last decade or so whether 'the law' can even comprehend what the term 'common sense' means anymore....

When you have such a silly name - not to mention beard -  then, frankly, you deserve all you get - unless the British courts stick their oar in - then, it appears, you don't get what you deserve.

I think I may change my name by deed poll to Mohammed Ali Akbar and shoot several hundred politicians....I'd get away with it according to the European courts...I wonder if that would work?...;-)

Let's be careful out there...

Friday, 3 February 2012


Plod and the Tax Man are after Harry Redknapp.

This only enhances and confirms my long held suspicions that we haven't lived in a democracy for yonks. (That means a loooong time for those unused to certain English dialects)

Harry is very wealthy. No argument there. As such he is, perhaps, no longer part of the 'common man' - am I allowed to say 'common man' anymore?....perhaps it should be 'common person' but when did I give a fuck for political correctness?

Some bus driver in Brighton is in trouble for calling a female passenger 'babe' for fucks sake.....if I'm a dinosaur then, frankly, I'm glad I am. The 'bird' who complained at being called 'babe' really needs to get a life in a big way.....

'Real Ale' is a BIG THING in various pubs...well it is if you're a 'real ale' drinker anyroad. Personally I'm not. I prefer lager.....Kronenberg, Stella Artois et al.....

Never the less I admire those who support 'real ale' as 'real ale' is a tradition, particularly of England.

There is a 'real ale' by the name of 'TOP TOTTY'.

This particular 'real ale' has a badge of a good looking young lady in a bikini....not the dog in the pic by the way....this is MP Kate Green's ugly mush there a jealous side to her objections?....NEVER!!!

This particular 'real ale' is now banned from the House Of Commons because some stupid bint...aka..brainless woman....aka humourless bitch...aka frigid sow...aka politician objected to the badge and name as 'demeaning to women'.

A worryingly significantly large number of people in this divvy cows hometown elected her to Parliament.

Her name is Kate Green...I have no idea which area she represents and I'd rather not know frankly.

Kate Green is clearly a numpty of the highest order. She's also not particularly attractive by any stretch of the imagination....

...more worryingly...she's been democratically elected to represent some place in Britain.

If there was ever a more clear indicator that democracy has died then please let me know... careful what you order to drink out there eh?...The thought police are moving in...

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Harry And The Bullys

Harry Redknapp was a decent enough footballer for West Ham United, Bournemouth and, as his playing career tailed off, Seattle Sounders of the long defunct North American Soccer League.

It was in management that he really came into his own.

After a short spell as Assistant manager at Bournemouth he was handed the job of Manager after Don megson was sacked with bournemouth perilously close to relegation. Harry saved the day and they stayed up.

In 1990 he almost died in an horrific car crash in Italy but fortunately survived to go on to manage West Ham United after a three season spell as Assistant manager to Hammers legend Billy Bonds.

Quite how he managed to keep West Ham bobbing about the 'top tier' of English football is a mystery.

On one glorious occasion he announced live on TV that, due to injuries, The Hammers were 'down to the bare bones'....meaning they didn't have enough players to field a genuine team......

Harry's extraordinary ability to make 'something out of nothing' in footballing terms has long been legendary.

Football fans around the country love him. Even if they hate the team he's managing they still love Harry - and I am no exception.

Success at Portsmouth led to a brief spell managing Southampton - Portsmouths arch rivals. Few managers could do that and then return to Portsmouth immediately forgiven by Portsmouth fans....Harry did.

At the end of 2005 he was given an opportunity to manage Tottenham Hotspur. A long time under acheivers club in the old First Division and, since it's inception, The Premiership.

Harry has, in no uncertain terms, turned Spurs into a supurb footballing side...quite capable of surprising both Manchester clubs by nicking the Premiership Title from under their noses...certainly a long shot this season but next season?

Harry is so beloved by football supporters up and down the land he is - by a clear mile - the 'peoples choice' for England Manager.....even arch Spurs rivals Arsenal supporters agree...if only to rid Spurs of a great manager!..;-)

So....what happens to 'our Harry' eh?

The 'authorities'.....the 'powers that be' go after him for income tax evasion.

A bank account in Monaco in the name of one of his dogs.

The 'authorities'...the 'powers that be' really really really don't get it do they?

Politician Peter Mandelson avoids prosecution for fraud twice and is made a 'Lord' and given a seat in the House Of Lords.

Harry Redknapp is hounded by 'the powers that be' for possible (and who can blame him if it's true) tax evasion.


Leave Harry alone you total scumbags.

Just leave him the fuck alone.

Good luck Harry....for all us football fans...and for all ordinary sane people....


Saturday, 21 January 2012

Fundamentalist Squirrels

On July 7th, 2005 a bunch of morons blew up a London bus, a tube train carriage and failed abyssmally to blow anything else up. It is, I'm sure, small concellation to the families and friends of the victims but at least the bloody idiots blew themselves up at the same time.

Now I've long puzzled about suicide bombers - as far as I know it's primarily, if not totallly, an Islamic sort of thing. I don't recall the IRA or The Red Brigade or Shining Path or any other terrorist dickheads blowing themselves up with their bombs....well, not intentionally anyroad.

I suppose, sooner or later, it'll happen again. Stands to reason really. When you allow 'the enemy' to live within your borders you're kind of asking for it aren't you.

I've often wondered who trains the suicide bombers. The advert for 'Suicide Bomber Trainer' must run pretty regularly in the Islamic press.

"Good morning, I am your trainer...I will only show you how to do this once"

Fundamental Islamists aren't the only 'suiciders' around though. Lately, more and more Squirrels and Foxes are at it.

Not blowing themselves up obviously - well I'm not aware of any terrorist Squirrels.

Urban Squirrels and Foxes have adapted to their enviroments destruction remarkabley well. Urban foxes are actually noticeably larger than their rural cousins as the food supply in towns is significantly greater than in the countryside. Squirrels too seem to be thriving.

So why, I wonder, are there so many squashed ones on the roads?

If they've adapted so successfully to urban dwelling, how come they haven't adapted to the car?...not in the driving sense I hasten to add...I'll teach pretty much anyone to drive but draw the line at squirrels...

How come they can't seem to get it?

You run in the road when a bus is coming you get squashed.

They've lived in urban areas long enough for them to understand this. They've had more than enough time for their instincts to adapt to this.

I can only assume that a number of squirrels - and foxes - have a natural inclination to commiting suicide.

Thereby leading to the logical conclusion that a percentage of squirrels and foxes have converted to Islamic fundamentalism.

Now that's what logic does for you.....

Laters, and let's be careful of exploding squirrels out there.....

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Who IS In Charge?....Just Wondering....

Now when Britain holds a General Election nobody wins. Sometimes Labour or Conservative get 30 odd percent of the vote outright and form a Government. This has always struck me as slightly bizarre seeing as a good 60 odd percent clearly haven't voted for them so it puzzles me quite how they can claim to have 'won' and got a mandate from the electorate. Perhaps I'm just stupid.

In a nutshell, this is more or less how the 'first past the post' system of democracy works. The only alternative seemingly being 'proportional representation' whereby nobody can ever win, ever.... and we're left with a constant 'hung Parliament' - which would be good if it meant we could hang them but sadly it doesn't - and we would probably have what we have now in perpetuity. Two political parties joining forces to 'run the show'.

However, it appears that two political parties joining up to 'run the show' are no better at being in charge than one party on its own has shown itself to be historically. (or if you prefer, hysterically)...

As you gaze at a map you see to Britain's East a rather large bit called Europe. We are, unfortunately, currently considered a part of this large bit called Europe thus enabling lots of other people who are part of this large bit to come to our own small bit (Britain).

This has proven to be not a good thing as many shops on our high streets previously with signs saying 'Grocers' and/or 'Newsagents' and/or 'General Stores' now say 'Polskie Sklep' thereby rendering them entirely useless to English people as we have no idea what worrying things may lurk within.

At least when the Asians took over our Bonaparte mantle of 'a nation of shokeepers' they kept the words on the signs so we knew more or less what to expect inside - admittedly, initially, odd looking things like Chicken Korma's appeared in the freezers but, in general, this was a small price to pay for being able to get a pint of milk on a Sunday or at 8 o'clock in the evening and know that, whatever else was in the shop you could get a newspaper, a pint of milk and a loaf of bread......

As Brussels, which for the geographically challenged is not a foul tasting vegetable but the capital of Belgium, is the home of lots of things 'European' including the awful 'European Court of Human Rights' it appears that 'they' may actually be 'in charge' over here too.

With the permission of Fuehrer Merkel and Germany of course....

They won't let us kick out terrorists as said terrorists are entitled to a family life and their pet cat would suffer terribly if they were kicked out to face quite reasonable charges in another country.

It's bad enough that the 'Europeans' seem to be in charge rather more than our dubiously elected home grown politicians but it's really coming to something when the bloody Americans are in charge over here too!!!

If you're still looking at the map you'll find America is on the left after the big blue thing......

Now I like America and Americans generally speaking. Those I have met have been incredibly open and friendly and the country itself is always good for a laugh - The Tea Party spring eternally to mind - and let's face it, what other country on Earth would elect as their President a man whose first name sounds like he's clearing his throat?

Gary McKinnon suffers from Aspergers Syndrome - a form of Autism. Like many who suffer this awful affliction, he is extraordinarily talented at a specific thing. In his case computers. So talented that he successfully 'hacked' into top secret things in America. He didn't do this to 'spy' but to look for evidence of aliens - and not the illegal type Europe won't let us kick out either - the 'little green men' type.

As a result America want him extradited so they can incarcerate him for 128 years or whatever.

The natural assumption of anybody, even if mildly short of seriously deranged, would be that Britain would respond to America with a polite "Sorry chaps, he's English and a sandwich short of a picnic so leave it to us chaps. Tally Ho!"

But no. We apparently have signed a treaty allowing Gary to be extradited and, despite all common sense thought on the matter being that he should be dealt with carefully and humanely in his own country, given his Autism, and was clearly searching for little green men and not trying to sabotage Western Democracy the intention is to send him over to the Yanks for trial.

And now there is another one!

Richard O'Dwyer has not broken any laws in Britain - as Gary McKinnon hadn't.

Richard found a loop hole and used it. He put up links on his website that guided people to sites where they could watch and download movies for free thereby avioding any payment to the appropriate people who should have been paid for said movie watching.

A bit dodgy certainly. Unethical perhaps, but not illegal.

Now he is to be extradited to America to serve 952 years or whatever once found guilty. (Actually I think it's more in the region of 20 odd years but does that actually matter?)

He certainly made a good sum of money off the site through advertising - as the site was understandly popular he was paid by some to advertise their stuff on it - but he wasn't actually breaking any law.



Apparently everybody apart from the British people.

Right. I'm off to the Polskie Sklep to see if they have any Chicken Korma's......

Laters and let's be careful out there...The Europeans, Americans and, quite possibly, the little green men are watching you!

Saturday, 14 January 2012

Is It Wrong?.......Is It?????

"Build a bonfire...
build a bonfire....
put politicians on the top....
put the muzzies in the middle...
and we'll burn the fucking lot"

Why is it so wrong to want YOUR country to be YOUR country? Why is it so politically incorrect to want this?

My Asian neighbours agree with me. My black friends agree with me - I happen to know this because I've asked them....

Come to that, my pal Mohammed Noor agrees with me...and, given he's called Mohammed it isn't rocket science to establish that he is muslim is it?

Now I'm not an aggessive friends know they can express THEIR opinions to me without fear of retribution because their opinions may differ to mine.


This is NOT another country somewhere else in the world. THIS IS ENGLAND.

I AM (by the natural course of ENGLISH.

My pal Mo Noor took a driving lesson with me today. As we drove through Hayes Town I happened to say to him 'Peek-a-boo warning!!!' which I tend to say to all my students when we pass one of those ridiculous veiled creatures who seem to have taken a wrong turn at Islamabad and ended up here instead of Iran...

He cracked up.

He knows.

He knows he's my pal and I would never ever ever do anything to hurt him...or indeed his wife and child who have recently joined him from Kenya...his 18 month old daughter is absolutely beautiful by the way...and she gurgled and grinned at me as she sat in my lap the other night....she also crapped her nappy but that's babies for you eh?..;-)

He also knows I won't take shit from anyone or anywhere.

A Gold Card carrying member of the BNP with a pal who is a Kenyan muslim.

Chew on that left wing liberal elite.

I don't hate muslims like Mo Noor and his family...or the Mahmoods who have lived three doors down for longer than I've lived here....

I hate immigrants who don't appreciate...and respect...MY country.

...and there's far too many who fit right into THAT catregory.

Assimilate to England or suffer the consequences of thinking people like me...English people...will live with it...put up with it.

We won't.

You want to stay here and stay safe.....learn from Mo Noor and the Mahmoods. They appreciate the better life they've made over here and recognise that Islamabad isn't down the road from London or Manchester or Birmingham.

That's what we need my muslim friends.

...and that's what we'll, ultimately, get.....if you want to stay here and stay safe.

Even the English can say 'ENOUGH'...and you really don't want that to happen....

Trust me...I'm from Oldham...

Laters...and let's be careful out there...

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Did You Ever.....?

Have you ever used those toilets with a timer on the light?

We had one of those at Menzies World Cargo at Heathrow Airport....I assume they still do. If you sat on the pan for too long the light would go out.

Marvellous if you'd tottered into work suffering from dia...dairre....the shits yeah?

Happened to hear some'at on TV that reminded me of a particularly unfortunate episode regarding timed toilets....two actually.....

Sadly, both involved yours truly....

On one occasion I did indeed crawl into work for Menzies World Cargo whilst suffering severely from an attack of the shits.

I retired to the required place and sat on the pan.

Several minutes later it was clear that leaving the pan was not advisable so I sensibly remained ensconsed.

The lights went out. Just like that. Blink.

It appeared the time had run out for anyone to be so ensconsed....having the 'shits' not, seemingly, being taken into account by the powers that change there then.....'why should we pay you for you having a crap eh?' would probably have been their come back....

I frantically waved my arms about - realising that the lights were regulated by 'movement'.

Nothing. Clearly the 'movement' had to be outside the cubicle.

Fair enough.

I found the lock and, bent double, trousers around the ankles, I tottered out like a particularly demented version of Quasimodo and waved my arms about.

The lights came back on and, as they did, a complete stranger walked through the door of the toilets.

He was new to the company and hadn't, at this point, joined the Union.

I, at this point, was the Acting Convenor of said Union therefore the most highly placed Union Official in the company.

He gazed at this apparition before him.....The Acting Union Convenor, trousers around ankles and waving his arms about....

"Have you filled in your Union Membership form yet?" I asked.

For some unfathomable reason I don't believe he ever did....

Since becoming a Driving Instructor I have had recourse to need a toilet urgently suffering from a similar affliction to that mentioned above.

There is a 'pay for use' toilet at Hatton Cross at Heathrow and I needed it badly.

I parked up and rushed to said toilet facility.

It would only open if you inserted 50 pence. I didn't have 50 pence.

After kicking it a few times I resigned myself to the fact I had to get a 50 pence piece.

After a number of failed attempts to prize 50 p from several foreigners scatterd about Hatton Cross I threatened one with dismemberment and aquired 50 p.

I placed said 50 p in the door and it opened.

I rushed to the toilet and dropped my trousers, settling down with a relieved 'sigh'.

A 'Flood of Budgies' ensued...and if you don't know what that means...a bit of imagination eh?

I was relieved in every sense of the word.

I then proceeeded, as you do, to wipe my bottom.

At this point I felt quite chilly...a breeze seemed to be emanating from somewhere.

I had no idea that you had to actually press a button to close the door....which, I hasten to add, was quite a distance from the required receptacle hence I hadn't actually noticed I was exposed in no uncertain terms to the local transient populace at Hatton Cross.

Several foreign personages were peering into my private ablutions, clearly fascinated with the 'method' employed by the English.....

Is it any wonder I fucking hate Heathrow Airport?

Just came to mind via some'at I heard on TV a few minutes back.

Fuck off Michael McIntyre.....funny bastard!

Laters n let's be careful out there eh?

Monday, 2 January 2012

Jingle Bombs

Well...there we have it...another year over...another Chrissie gone...pretty peaceful and enjoyable time too - unless you happened to be in a church in Nigeria and on the receiving end of the Islamists....

Never mind...we're could never happen over here could it?

Had a cracker myself - hope you did too.

House all decked out with a wonky tree.....either the tree was leaning or I was...probably me...

Radio and TV is full of advertisements for giving your hard earned to some kids in Africa or wherever so they don't shuffle off cause their Dictator or dodgy government won't pay up to save them....sorry kids...if your own kind won't help you're screwed...buggered if I will...Bah Humbug eh?

Only Christmas spirit worth it is vodka...;-)

Courtesy of the Senior and Junior Management my Doctor Who Box Sets is now complete with both Matt Smith's series so I feel a 'Doctor Who Day' coming on....Rise at 10...slob in the arm chair watching every episode from Christopher Ecclestone's supurb one series outing through David Tennants extraordinary time and, I've finally got Tennant out of my system and started appreciating matt Smith's efforts.

A day of Doctor Who supplemented with bacon sandwiches and vodka......can't wait!!!

Jax aka The Junior Management was home for most of Chrissie - went out with 'the girls' one night but spent the rest either here or in Essex with Max. It was soooooo good to have her home!!!

Caz aka The Senior Management continued to decline making a personal appearance on DILLIGAF II - wise lady that she is.....I did, however, manage to coax her down The 5 Bells in Harmondsworth for New Years Eve and she admitted she bloody well enjoyed herself!!!

Jax headed off in the general direction of Trafalgar Square for New Years Eve - hope she wore a wasn't THAT bloody warm!!!...;-)

New Years Resolutions?

Carry on carrying on mainly. Say what I mean and mean what I say.

I think I may have startled a few SFRadio peeps during my January 2nd 2011 Review Show when they saw my BNP link on this blog. Tried to explain I'm not actually a racist I'm just a worried Englishman.....I suspect some are too left wing liberal to comprehend the danger this country is really in. Maybe not today or tomorrow but soon enough.

Never mind. I've often found that I can accept views I disagree with far more readily than left wing liberals can.

Odd really. You'd think left wing liberals would have an open mind. It appears not. You are understandably worried about the colonisation of your country by alien cultures therefore you're clearly a fascist nazi racist colour prejudiced islamophobe...not necessarily in that order..;-)

Strikes me most of them haven't got a mind capable of considering alternative viewpoints. Left wing liberals almost invariably seem to suffer from what I call 'Ostrich Syndrome'.......

Well...Tally-Ho!!! Bring on 2012 and be careful out there won't you!!!

4D x

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