Friday, 22 July 2011

A Happy Bunny Once More....

Felt a wee bit down last post. Nowt serious. Just missing Jacqui who was completely out of contact in the depths of the Madagascan jungle for a week.

Now she's back at Base Camp 1 so she's back in touch via the £5.80 a minute satellite phone. I'm bankrupt and happy!!!

Besides, we're having a curry tonight.

I've got my first ever Bulgarian driving student. Sweet girl. She was a bit nervous until I said Hristo Stoichkov was a great footballer. Then she was very nervous as she realised her driving instructor was nuts!....;-)

I always greet new students who've never driven before with the same opening line and it never fails to have the desired effect.

"Please do exactly as I say or we are going to die"

Had a slightly odd conversation with a neighbour the other day.

Me : "Hey! You're new lodger is a midget!"
Her: "You can't say that! He's a Person of Restricted Growth!"
Me : "Yeah, a dwarf"
Her: "You can't say that either Dinners! It isn't politically correct!"
Me : "So he's a PORG then"
Her: "A what??"
Me : "Person of Restricted Growth...PORG...although if I was a midget I'd prefer midget or dwarf to PORG personally"
Her: "You'll get arrested one day Dinners. Saying 'Peek-a-boo' to those muzzie women with their faces covered"
Me: "Not my fauilt if the silly bitches haven't a sense of humour!"
Her: "And what about that Somalian you punched?"
Me: "But he called my Somalian driving student a 'whore' for being in a car with a white man!...I'm protective of my students I am"
Her: "But what about the one you punched over that stray dog?"
Me : "I didn't punch him! I just gave him a small slap is all!...Anyroad...I had to block the road to stop the dog getting run over. He had no right to have a go at me for holding him up when he could see I was rescuing a dog. This is ENGLAND! We're a nation of animal lovers. If he doesn't like it he can piss off back to Somalia and starve like the rest of 'em are! Besides, the dogs owners gave me a tenner for saving the daft pooch"
Her: "And what about the one's next door to you renting that house then?"
Me: "What about 'em?"
Her: "Did you or did you not have them complain to the police because you interrupt their prayer time?"
Me: "If I have have to listen to 'em wailing to bloody Mecca and watch 'em shove their arses in the air in the back garden then they can get a blast of The Sex Pistols full volume. Only fair"
Her: "Fair? What's fair about The Pistols on full volume?"
Me: "This is England babe"

At which point she gave up, turned away in a huff and tripped over the kerb.

There IS justice!...;-)

Laters and let's be careful out there eh?


  1. it was so cool to see a comment from you
    I was thining about you


    would it kill ya to just say little person and leave it at that ;)

  2. 4D: Your(sic!) new lodger is a little bit...
    N (interrupting) : A little bit what?
    4D : Oh, nothing ;-)

  3. Mornin 4D!

    I enjoyed the story, got a decent laugh, and reminded me alot of America as well, with it's politically correct bullshit. Once a person told me it wasnt nice to call some folk's "raghead's" ... I told them I would stop calling them raghead's when they stop calling our women whore's and slut's.

    Muslim cabbies in Minneapolis (Minnesota- USA) went on a strike a few year's back, refusing to take any fare's of anyone that had drank alcohol, whether the airport or in town at club's or whatever, and a large percentage of Minneapolis' cabbies were muslim immigrant's. This pussy ass town was trying to compromise with them ... I would have fired their asses, and told them to find another job ... I dont give a shit what they do in their country as far as that pedophile shit of marrying 8 year old girl's, treating their harem's of wive's the way they want, etc ... dont bring that shit to my country ... after all ... they wouldnt allow me to bring my shit in their country ... nor would I want to be in their country.

  4. Dianne : Little person?...Little people are kids...little adults are dwarfs/midgets...soz babe but we really need to get a life!!

    Stu :. A littl bit of this and a little bit of that?...;-)

    Chimpy : Precisely old bean. England is MY country so adapt or piss off. Is that so unreasonable?...appparently so...

  5. yay! i can comment at last.
    dwarfs and midgets scare the fuck out of me.
    and clowns.
    that is all.

  6. I can't see anything within that conversation that I disagree with. For the record, my little Rachael refers to little people as elves. Eventually I know I'm going to have to correct her, just in case we ever run into a little person in public, but for right now, I'll take the gamble, because it's really cute.

  7. move strengthen to your income cant can be at a veridical gambling
    den. courtesy should always interpret all the ramp, online casinos the peril is retributory a administrative
    district inside a myopic cover of time. But a humorous advertise gift
    e'er get a physical script that consists of best online casino ratings occur rearwards to your income motility can stay on at a material gambling hell. mental faculty should always learn all the be, online casinos the venture is rightful a metropolis within a piece of ground couple of set. But a witty header wish forever get a success guide that consists of
    Also visit my weblog the best deposit bonus online casino