According to The Mayans - who the fuck were The Mayans anyroad? - the entire world will end in 2012 apart from Kevin Spacey and his ex wife and a few others including, according to the movie, The Queen and her Corgi's.
I've found the 21st Century a bit sort of odd myself. Perhaps it's the fact that, despite my most strenuous objections, I am growing older. In fact, whilst admiting it is almost physically painful for me to accept I am actually starting to get old.
I used to think 'old' was about 30 on a good day.
On the plus side I was firmly convinced reaching 30 at all would be an unexpected bonus given the amount of unusual substances that have, in the past, meandered about my internal bits.
I suppose, given that above statement, I shouldn't complain.....but I am complaining!
I can handle getting old if everything works as it should and nothing of any consequence falls off but old age doesn't seem to work that way.
I admit I'm not immediately aware of anything falling off but...but...some things don't seem to be working quite as reliably as they once did.
My mind, for starters.
I rang The Dragon (my mother) the other day and she said 'Oh! Happy Birthday on Thursday...er...how old are you now?'
'Why thank you (you old bat why are you still alive?), how old am I? You're my mother!'
'Well! How old are you on Thursday?'
'I'm...er....I'm....erm.....I....er.....ang on...er....1957....er.....OH SHIT!'
'Don't swear at me!'
'I wasn't swearing AT you I was just swearing!...Jesus H fucking Christ! I'm 54!'
'I'm not talking to you if you swear' she said and hung up.
This was a good thing as I was about to swear far more violently than I had.
Excuse me....I need a bit of visual viagra to keep me from ending it all....
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!....That's better....now...where was I?....Oh yes....getting older.....
As Grant Naylor so rightly said....
"You live, you die....the bit in between is called life....ENJOY!"
...Well...at least until my birthday next year which, according to The Mayans, whoever the fuck they are, is the end.
Bastards. They could have least had it for the day after my bloody birthday.
Anyroad. have a good Chrissie and a safe New Year peeps.
I leave you with the songs of 2011.....and why not?
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Si thi in 2012 x