I've found the 21st Century a bit sort of odd myself. Perhaps it's the fact that, despite my most strenuous objections, I am growing older. In fact, whilst admiting it is almost physically painful for me to accept I am actually starting to get old.
I used to think 'old' was about 30 on a good day.
On the plus side I was firmly convinced reaching 30 at all would be an unexpected bonus given the amount of unusual substances that have, in the past, meandered about my internal bits.
I suppose, given that above statement, I shouldn't complain.....but I am complaining!
I can handle getting old if everything works as it should and nothing of any consequence falls off but old age doesn't seem to work that way.
I admit I'm not immediately aware of anything falling off but...but...some things don't seem to be working quite as reliably as they once did.
My mind, for starters.
I rang The Dragon (my mother) the other day and she said 'Oh! Happy Birthday on Thursday...er...how old are you now?'
'Why thank you (you old bat why are you still alive?), how old am I? You're my mother!'
'Well! How old are you on Thursday?'
'I'm...er....I'm....erm.....I....er.....ang on...er....1957....er.....OH SHIT!'
'Don't swear at me!'
'I wasn't swearing AT you I was just swearing!...Jesus H fucking Christ! I'm 54!'
'I'm not talking to you if you swear' she said and hung up.
This was a good thing as I was about to swear far more violently than I had.
54?????????????
Excuse me....I need a bit of visual viagra to keep me from ending it all....
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!....That's better....now...where was I?....Oh yes....getting older.....
Oh well....
As Grant Naylor so rightly said....
"You live, you die....the bit in between is called life....ENJOY!"
...Well...at least until my birthday next year which, according to The Mayans, whoever the fuck they are, is the end.
Bastards. They could have least had it for the day after my bloody birthday.
Anyroad. have a good Chrissie and a safe New Year peeps.
4D xx
I leave you with the songs of 2011.....and why not?
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Si thi in 2012 x
Spirit likes tits.
ReplyDeleteBilly!...Behave!
And not be me? Okay, so he's your friend, he's still boring, and a jackass. If he doesn't like my grammar because he thinks he's a wordsmith with a piece of shit English language that isn't my fucking problem. :-)
Now I'm going to crack open my bottle of Brandy for a little night cap.
who the fuck were The Mayans anyroad?
ReplyDeleteSome fucking idiots that stopped working on a calender and died off long before 20 fucking 12.
We'll make it into the next century, but there will be a hell of a lot fewer of us. And this is okay.
ReplyDeleteI like your visual viagra!
ReplyDeleteI hated reading novels because I like philosophy, science and maths. Reality used to seem more wonderful than fiction but I have changed. I read some of the Narnia books to my wee one many years ago and fell in love with them too. I think it is far more likely that the universe came into being by a singing lion than a 'benevolent' prat on a cloud.
Remember Father Christmas was a christian priest; He gives gifts to little children in the middle of the night and cums down chimneys!
Have a good one.
I know that the Mumford & Sons song was released in 2010 as we saw them live in Oct 2010 playing it at Hammersmith... sorry 'Ammersmith... But then as your soooo old now you can't be expected to remember that ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhatever - when I wake up on New Year's day the first thing I will say is "Fuck I'm 50 this year!!"
As I say to my boys(they'll be boys until I kick the bucket)now's the time to start looking after yourself. Sometimes they listen.
ReplyDeleteNever knew Kevin had been married.
A Happy Christmas to you and the girls!
Bebe -C (and if I come down to your level I can imagine what the C stands for) you call me a lot of unpleasant names in your comment without knowing the least thing about me. If I thought you were in the least qualified to judge (which you're obviously not) I might be bothered. But as you are not, I shan't be, and as I also shan't be indulging you any further in a war of words, this little bit of offensive silliness on your part ends here.
ReplyDeleteNeil, I am genuinely sorry about this, but what also ends here is any further comment from me on your blog whilst sub-human prat Bebe C continues to excercise his offensive spite against humanity on it.